You Should be Working... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. He said "shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said "that's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart." Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor. A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh, she had airline and cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh, he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" Have a great day :-)